i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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