i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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