There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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