Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
