Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
