my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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