Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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