He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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