I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
