I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
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