I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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