Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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