I'm drive I can fine osifer
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
