Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
