I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
