Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
