I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
