I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
