You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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