the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize