Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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