I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
