its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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