I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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