Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize