I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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