Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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