so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
