my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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