it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
