i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
