The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I just shit out all my problems.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
