He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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