we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
