I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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