What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
