We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
