Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
