Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's just like the Real World with babies
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
