I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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