Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
