Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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