dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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