Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
