I don't remember. Are we still dating?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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