Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
