He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
