My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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