So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
