You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
is wine microwaveable?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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