I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
