I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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