I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
