he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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