you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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