I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize