fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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