dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
