Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
