At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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