WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
