I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
