nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
